Slime bogeys

Yes we have all been there! We all have those days when the snot just wont behave itself and form into a nice compact bogey that you can handle with your standard nosepick.

Many of our customers here at Polock and Sons have been asking if we have a particular tool in development which could aid them with this problem.

Now we do appreciate that for the Lady or gentleman of distinction it can be embarassing to suffer from a long snot drool just as your being presented at Court or meeting the Chief Executive of some fabulous company. Normally we recommend the sleeve technique or ( as demonstrated by Mr Edmund Throgmorton in the accompanying photo) the "tongue scoop".

We realise though that there is clearly a demand for a more up to date method and we have been working for some time on our patented "Slime Sucker". Obviously I am reluctant to say too much about this until we begin our marketing drive. What I can say is that it consists essentially of a squeezable container and shaped nozzle. Our Slime Sucker will just suck those slime bogeys right out of there leaving your sleeve free for cleaning your teeth and your tongue free for any necessary arse licking at those important meetings. Watch out for the "Slime Sucker" soon!

Our marketing Department have been working on a viral advertising campaign for the Slime Sucker and for the Prince Charles ( which I spoke about in a previous post).

I am told that the latest advertising trick is that advertisers hire actors to go out and about and pretend to be ordinary people who are using and talking about their products . I gather our campaign is thinking about hiring a troop of particularly snotty nosed out of work Rumanian Actors to hang round Trafalgar Square demonstrating our products to tourists. Call me old fashioned but I still think you can't beat a well photographed magazine campaign.